I absolutely agree with all of this.
I hate being "tough" or "manly". Am I capable? Pretty much. I've backed down men twice my size with just a look or a few words. I've trained to fight and kill barehanded. Trained along with (was not in) special forces. Driven explosives. Can put 3 rounds in a 1" target at 100 yards in 10 seconds.
None of that means anything.
Been a nurse for 26 years, been through over 300 codes. Held the hands of the dying, comforted the survivors.
Then go home to an empty house. Single 14 years after enduring an abusive relationship. Have always been expected to "be a man".
I am a man. I laugh, I cry, I love my daughter and support her as she is and wants to be. I can feel weak, I can be strong, I can be vulnerable.
I'll stay single until I meet a woman who accepts all of that.