Seriously? This sounds like a formula for cloning.

Demand phone calls instead of text messages? I have an odd schedule, work as a nurse and freelance writer and spend a lot of time doing research. Not to mention the fact that (think: writer) I prefer the written word. Not fond of phone calls. When on the phone, I always feel like I am selling or being sold something until AFTER I know the person.

Hint: I am not trying to sell or buy anything. No hanging out? Guess what you are doing most of your life together? If you are not comfortable hanging out, being friends, laughing, etc then why would you think someone would let their actual feelings be known with you?

Too many people (both men and women) view dating as goal-oriented and relationships as ownership. There is no race to the finish line here. Neither person is property being bought or sold. A relationship should be a partnership where each person feels relaxed and accepted for who they are. If they feel otherwise, that’s where problems arise.

You can take that warrior idea and put it up your.. archaic views.

Relationships should also be equal. Don’t fall into this mentality of a man being the aggressor. If you expect, encourage or seek that out, that’s exactly what you will find. Over and over and over. Men who are pursuers are hunters. Once a hunter bags their prey, they will start hunting for the next prey and you will just be the trophy on the shelf, the notch on the bedpost. The same is true of the warrior mentality. If you just want to be a conquest, it will show and you will attract (or only be aware of) men whose purpose is conquest and plunder. That is their mentality and you will not change it or be the exception.

Have sex with whomever you want to. Or don’t. Be comfortable in yourself and have enough sense of self respect and preservation to state that you want to use protection. It is when you want to STOP using protection that more discussion is warranted. Along with STI testing on both sides. Main point being enjoy your life and stop letting fear control you. Stop letting others set your rules. Their life is not your life. If you want whips and chains, that is your decision.

Above all, if you want to own or be owned, one side of that equation is dehumanized, reduced to being an object. Otherwise, how about viewing each person as an individual? Get to know that person for who they are instead of forcing round pegs into square holes.

I have my own preferences, of course. However, I have never dated someone without getting to know who they are and (long term) caring about them as an individual, as themselves. Not that the courtesy has been returned. Of course, they tried to follow a formula and it wound up hurting both of us.

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